It’s Your Life

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life.

Steve Jobs
Commencement Address at Stanford University

A few weeks ago, on Halloween Day, I dropped by the Renaissance Rehabilitation Center in Staatsburg, NY, and was greeted by a member of staff wearing a broad grin and a Mr. Incredible costume (from the Pixar film The Incredibles) that appeared to be at least a size too small. I’ve known this man for many years, and I can rely on his good cheer and offers of help no matter how busy he is. 

 “You’ve always been Mr. Incredible to me,” I said, “but that costume looks a little challenging to wear all day.” 

“Small price to pay,” he replied with a twinkle in his eye, “when I see the residents’ smiles and hear their laughter. That’s what gets me out of bed in the morning…”

This remarkable man knows exactly who he is, I thought. He engages with life, extracting every ounce of happiness by bringing joy to others. He feels blessed by bestowing blessings.

It’s a part of human nature to measure our lives against the lives of others, but historically, this measuring was necessarily limited in reach to immediate surroundings. The advent of radio, TV, and accessible foreign travel for many broadened our outlook and raised awareness of lives beyond our own experience. Jump cut to today, and we’ve been propelled into a maelstrom of 24/7 influencers. Indeed, much of what we consume every day in all forms of media is designed to not so subtly program us to think of our lives only within the context of our idols.

Is it any wonder we have a mental health crisis? Is it any wonder many of us feel dissatisfied, disappointed, and disillusioned with our lives as we drag ourselves along, weighed down by the burden of it all? In the words of Lennon and McCartney’s Tomorrow Never Knows, “It is not living…”

“If only” abound in this emotionally perilous sea of confusion we always carry with us. If only I were like them - rich, famous, beautiful, popular, lucky…then I’d be happy. The seductive allure of glamour, the corrosive power of envy, the dangers of escapism, and the stress of competition are ever-present.

This resistance to “what is” to our reality is the root cause of much unnecessary stress and suffering. Wishing, hoping, and wanting our lives to be different takes us out of the flow of opportunity by blinding us to who we are and creating an emotionally dead-end street. This attention to what’s going on “out there” creates a dangerous depletion of personal power as we neglect our lives.

One of the biggest regrets of people later in life is the dawning, pain-filled realization that the passage of time has left them behind. They never embraced their lives, never got around to doing what they wanted to do, and squandered their potential. It is tragic when you consider that we all have unique gifts and something special to contribute.

Be realistic about your life. “My” Mr. Incredible doesn’t need a costume; he is Mr. Incredible every day. He is a powerful reminder that our life is the life we have, and there is so much we can do with it. Share your gifts uniquely, and your life will change for the better. In the words of the late Steve Jobs, “Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life.”