Elegant Aspirations

These are chaotic times. Chaos is always a catalyst for change, but it also comes with opportunity and possibility. What that change will look like is entirely in our hands. The more resilient we are personally and collectively the greater our opportunity to create a just and peaceful world for all.

In the face of global chaos, we must embrace our interconnectedness and take meaningful action while remaining strong.

The recent loss of former President Jimmy Carter inspires us to embrace kindness and accountability. Let’s commit to helping others and taking responsibility for our actions. It’s never too late to make this year meaningful.

Expressions of kindness serve as a collective antidote, reminding us of the importance of connection and compassion as we embrace the future.

Now that divisive macho behavior dominates the airwaves, it’s the perfect time to remember and celebrate the elegant aspects of masculinity that we all need to be effective in this world – like courage, strength, and generosity.

To manage emotional overwhelm, it’s vital to accept the present moment, nurture our spirits, and save our precious energy for working towards a brighter future. 

Words can heal or harm, inspire or diminish, and how we choose to use them shapes us and our world.

Recognizing and prioritizing situations and people that are truly worthy of our time and attention helps us and our world.

Purpose is critical to a fulfilling life, and humans are gifted with the capacity to create a purposeful, well-lived life no matter our circumstances.

Finding joy and contentment in life's simple pleasures is crucial to avoid future regrets.

Our fascination with negativity creates a skewed perception of the world, causing us to overlook the kindness and positivity that occur every day.

Listening is essential for avoiding conflict and making better choices, yet only some understand its complexities.

In a world where one man's freedom fighter is another man's terrorist, making the decision to resist or desist matters because how we resist or desist matters to everyone.

Integrity has always been a challenge, but in today’s “post shame” atmosphere, aspirations and dignity of integrous behavior are under assault when stepping on others creates unprecedented collective suffering.

With the benefit of hindsight 2023 was a year of revelation. In what was predicted to be a year when life returned to some semblance of post-pandemic normal, themes of loneliness, miscommunication, and conflict dominated.

As we come to the completion of another year, I would like to express my gratitude to you for being on this journey with me.

It all begins with an idea. Maybe you want to launch a business. Maybe you want to turn a hobby into something more.

The COVID-19 pandemic and technology have heightened our reluctance to interact, resulting in loneliness despite the need for connection. Fear of expressing thoughts can lead to misunderstandings, especially through texts, and practices like ghosting add to uncertainty.

It all begins with an idea. Maybe you want to launch a business. Maybe you want to turn a hobby into something more.

Ideas in action can create our world. We are a species with the capacity to shape our lives creatively.

I’ve long been fascinated by what makes the difference between people who successfully pursue their passion and those who have dreams and desires and yet make little to no progress.

External influences can be this powerful because we’re hardwired to seek inclusion in groups for our very survival.

This trend particularly affects people under twenty-five who have a whopping seventy percent less social time than previous generations at this age.

There are billions of us living on this planet, each with our own beliefs, so why is it that today, when we are educated to know better, we can be seduced into believing our opinion is the only right?

Self-esteem is not something we pop out of the womb with. Some of us experience a childhood that confirms our worth, and some do not so much or not at all, but whatever the circumstance, there are no guaranteed self-esteem outcomes.

Can we know for sure what’s real and what’s not? Can we create our own reality, as many philosophies and spiritual belief systems teach us?

So, what can we do to be better prepared? It is no coincidence that today’s major disruptors share a common thread.

With the holiday season in full swing, it’s a perfect time to take a fresh look at New Year’s resolutions.

These can be challenging times, and I’m hearing in my coaching practice that people are feeling uninspired, even despondent. This isn’t surprising when you consider that many of the loudest voices clamoring for attention these days tend to be the least inspiring, and this can be a pretty psychic weight for us to carry.

So why is it, then, that we have this tendency to undervalue ourselves? At its most fundamental level, human evolution continually plays out in a fear-based power struggle for survival.

Today we have more labels for one another than ever: Labels devoted to defining sexuality, gender, politics, spiritual beliefs and so on. This led me to wonder why do we label one another?

The challenges of being flexible don’t just impact our bodies. Our ability to be flexible, emotionally and spiritually, also impacts our lives, and our world, in many ways.

From an early age I developed a stress response to numbers that remains with me today. Just ask my accountant!

We are living in an increasingly stressful world where change is palpable, unavoidable, and the only certainty we seem to have is uncertainty.

Every day it seems as though our world is getting increasingly more complex to navigate. Change is now our constant companion and the ground beneath our feet feels rockier and more unforgiving than ever.

In what now seems like a distant memory, a kind of hush descended on the planet when the world shut down in the face of a global pandemic. As we went quiet, the skies cleared, and the animals and birds came out of the shadows, reclaiming their kingdom.

Spring is in the air! It’s a new dawn and a new day. A time for cleaning up and clearing out and I’m not just talking about closets.

Quick to Judge?Polarization is everywhere, in the news, our homes, at work, and in schools. And this judgement of one another is exhausting, and it begs the question, what makes us so quick to judge?

As we take our first tentative steps into a New Year, hospitals are full, politicians are bickering and the weather here in the Berkshires has been doing a fine impersonation of damp and chilly England.

Self-discipline is crucial amid holiday chaos and the challenges of the past year. Strengthening our self-discipline can have a positive ripple effect, leading to a more fulfilling existence. Let's prioritize self-discipline this holiday season to empower ourselves and spread joy and love.

Are you feeling sensitive or overwhelmed in your interactions with others? It's important to find effective ways to handle these emotional situations. As mentioned before, we can only control ourselves. We can't change how others act. When you feel hurt, talk kindly to clear up misunderstandings and avoid triggering someone else's sensitivity. Be open to listening if you’ve hurt someone else. This only works if everyone involved wants to resolve the issue and improve the situation rather than just trying to be right. Forcing someone to apologize when they don’t mean it can lead to more issues and anger.

Feeling offended, and expressing outrage, is now all the rage affecting every aspect of our lives. And short fuses and limited tolerance have their place, of course, when offence is serious and damaging. But in my inner elegance coaching practice, there’s an increasing hyper-sensitivity to perceived, and real, slights that’s become the issue dominating relationships and it’s causing unnecessary pain and confusion.

Where does healthy self-expression end and entitled self-indulgence, at the expense of others, begin? I believe that much of this “over sharing” of emotional overload begins with the mistaken idea that if we “let it all out”, somehow, we will miraculously feel better, get closure and be able to move on.

What I believe is happening today is that it’s becoming harder to avoid the truth of just how vulnerable we all are. And it’s not just the pandemic of course. The steady drumbeat of rising temperatures, economic challenges, social unrest, and political instability accompany our days.

"We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them." Albert Einstein.

As the world becomes more complex, so does our relationship with the simpler thing in life. We’re nostalgic for the recent past when life seemed less complicated and we love our Jane Austen novels, but we’re addicted to googling as the go-to guide because it’s so simple to use.  

Blaming is as ingrained in our culture as apple pie. We spend enormous amounts of time, energy, and money on the business of blaming. Blame creates toxic work environments, burdens us with litigation and administration, destroys our relationships, and is the mother’s milk of our politics. But have we ever stopped to ask why it always has to be somebody’s fault?

We live in an overly dramatized world. Drama is a seductive force, whether we’re watching it play out on the world stage or acting it out in our own lives. However, this continuous overdramatization has a downside. It can be exhausting, overwhelming, and unproductive.

Our gardens are going to need a tidy-up in preparation for what’s to come, and so do we! It may not be time to put our snow shovels away just yet, but it is the perfect time to stop all that winter procrastination.

It’s as if the storm has blown us far off the life course we had mapped out, and now we are having to navigate unchartered waters with no idea what’s in store. All we can be sure of is that we’ve left the apparent “safety” of what was and that not only can we not go back, but the old world constructs only exist in our collective memory.

For we arrive on this earth with a sacred duty to ourselves and one another to conduct our lives as if they were our spiritual practice, our liturgy, our prayer, our mission. It doesn’t matter what we choose to call it or what beliefs or non-beliefs we have. We are born with the capacity to choose either to make things better or to make things worse.

Ten months and counting, and surging COVID-19 cases are wreaking havoc on the holidays. As hospitals fill up and high streets shut down once again, one thing is clear about this chaotic year: we humans have great powers of endurance. We push forward as best we can, hoping that “this too shall pass.”

The question is, then, will this be a long, dark road to we know not where, or can it be transformed into something more illuminating? The answer to this, I believe, is in our hands.

Chaos and confusion is inevitable at this momentous moment in human history, but by placing faith in the inevitable nature of it, and embracing the changes, we can save our precious energy for creating the kind of world we want. A world that sustains us all, while caring for our beautiful planet.

Today we are experiencing a different, but none the less highly disturbing and deeply uncomfortable, period of adversity: Individually, as a country and as a world. And just as we witness courageous people turning adversity into something positive by using it to serve others, we also know how only too easy it is today to attempt to dodge the inevitable pain adversity brings with it.

As the structures we rely on shift and crumble, our world is changing at dizzying speed. And in order to function effectively, during these unprecedented times, we too will be required to shift if we are to keep up.

Spinning through the universe on our tiny planet, our existence has always been uncertain. Living with the constant threat of nuclear annihilation our entire lives, one might think we would be used to it, but living through a global pandemic, with no end in sight, is challenging to say the least.

As the pain of social and racial injustice inflames hearts and communities, we are at a crossroads. A crossroads that demands a choice; either we want a more equitable world or we don’t.

What COVID-19 is telling us is, that in order to thrive, we must live sustainably by becoming an integral part of creation.

Covid-19 is re-shaping our world, whether we are rich or poor, powerful or disenfranchised. People without access to health care or those who have no means to shelter in place, are no longer unsettling statistics. Their fate is now our fate. With the world’s scientists making it clear that complete cooperation between people and nations is imperative, Covid-19 is illuminating this universal truth that “We are One” in flashing neon lights.

Exterior noise is intrusive, but the voice in our heads is worse. Its running commentary predicts what’s going to happen (usually bad things); tells us what, and who, we like and dislike and berates us for our failings and our feelings. Studies show, however, that over 95% of this thinking is pointless: The world will be what it will be no matter how outraged our agitated minds become.

Hope is a powerful and complex emotional resource woven from threads of connectivity with one another, the earth, and the universe. It is a powerhouse when it comes to making us more effective, productive, and physically healthy. Today, however, with these threads under threat, even the most hopeful of us can feel hopeless. 

Inquiring minds ensure our basic survival as well as help us solve the problems that produce economic results and additional comforts. Curiosity is after all the impulse behind all human achievements. In today’s world, however, the complacency of our deceptively comfortable lives shrinks our mysterious, and awe-inspiring, living experience down to the size of the latest smart phone or balance sheet.

The challenges of feeling hurt and the importance of forgiveness for finding peace of mind.