Recently I was asked about my hourly rate, and this led me to think that so often these days, our value is measured solely in terms of money. But upon reflection, I realize I’m priceless because I realized that my value cannot be measured by a monetary figure, but by who I am! A janitor, on minimum wage, for example, is considered of lesser value than a surgeon, although the surgery cannot be performed safely unless the operating room is thoroughly clean. There is so much more to our value than just money. There is also our contribution to one another and the greater good.

What we value has seen a significant shift in the last fifty years. Growing up in England in the 1960’s we were still heavily influenced by WWII as a society, and we placed great value on selflessness and being of service to our communities. Teachers, nurses, and farmers, for example, were held in high esteem for their collective value. Today value tends to be reserved for status, money, celebrity, possessions, and joining the “right” club.

It's my observation, however, that this programming is increasingly detrimental to our well-being. It tends to undermine our individual sense of value as we go about our daily lives playing the numerous “ordinary” roles that make up the complex tapestry of society. But as parents, partners, family members, caregivers, friends, employees, volunteers, and so on, we all have significant importance. Consider this, without farmers there’s no breakfast, lunch, or dinner.

So why is it, then, that we have this tendency to undervalue ourselves? At its most fundamental level, human evolution continually plays out in a fear-based power struggle for survival. And the most effective way to assert this competitive control over someone else is to diminish their value. This plays out in multiple ways across the globe, at work and even at home: Workers are exploited; groups are marginalized; violence breaks out. Every day, there’s shaming, bullying, and gaslighting from those who like to believe that their value is greater than that of others. Even a seemingly minor matter, like keeping somebody else waiting, for example, sends the subliminal power message, you are of limited or of no value to me, and I am more valuable than you.

Wherever there is a human association there’s the possibility of devaluing one another. And this devaluing of some people by others, of course, comes at a terrible cost, creating inequality, degradation, depression, and conflict. The universal truth is, that we are all connected and so what happens to one of us happens to all of us. When a co-worker or partner is diminished, the sad irony is that those who do the diminishing get a false and inflated view of their own value and inadvertently end up diminishing themselves. All they have achieved is the weakening of their own base by weakening trust in their relationships.

So, how can we strengthen our sense of value and how do we make sure we don’t diminish others to make ourselves feel more valuable? The key is understanding our intrinsic, collective human value. What value can we put on being there for a friend in need, making a delicious dinner when the family gets home after a tough day, or offering to play with a child to give the parents a break? Such acts of compassion and kindness are beyond valuable, they are priceless.

By demonstrating kindness, compassion, and sharing, we acknowledge the value of others while our value automatically skyrockets. And the more valuable we become, the more valuable we will feel. The beauty of all of this is that once we understand how truly valuable we really are, we will never be devalued again, no matter what. In the words of Albert Einstein, “strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value” and help create a more peaceful, loving, and dignified future for yourself and all of us.